Home is People, not a Place: On Belonging and Mattering

Flourishing is Expansive, not Expensive

Rich people are generally happier – up to a certain point. But richer countries are not necessarily happier than their less developed counterparts. When the economist Richard Easterlin found that country-level happiness rises, but only up to a certain level, researchers were perplexed – leading them to debate the true associations between wealth and a nation’s happiness. How then ought we to measure a country’s true happiness? What would it be like to live in a happy, prosperous, truly ‘rich’ nation – a psychological utopia? The recent Global Flourishing Study (GFS), led by Tyler VanderWeele, asked more than 200,000 respondents from 22 countries what flourishing meant to them. Flourishing, it turns out, is more expansive than it is expensive. A flourishing life is not only available to the select few from economically wealthy nations. Partly explaining the Easterlin paradox, results from the GFS showed that while some lower-income countries have less economic wealth, their citizens report stronger bonds, closer family-oriented cultures, and better community support.

Of particular note related to these findings is Indonesia, which ranks first among 22 countries from the study, believing that money is not the primary factor in overall well-being [1]. For comparison, the country ranks #145 out of 218 countries on the International Monetary Fund’s (IMF) listing of countries with a GDP per capita of $5,362, while right across the strait, Singapore ranks #8 with a GDP per capita of $107,758 [2]. Yet, flourishing for Indonesians stems from numerous country strengths – relational contentment, satisfying relationships, and charitable giving, to name a few. It is perhaps apt that Indonesia’s national motto, Bhinneka Tunggal Ika translates to “It is different, yet it is one,” the expression found on the country’s national emblem. Consistent with data from the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) in 2025, the findings show that individuals in lower-income brackets – mostly developing nationals – report slightly higher rates of daily in-person interaction with family and friends compared to those in top income brackets [3].

Family. Community. Your tribe. A place where people know your name. We cannot fully flourish without considering the strength of our relationships. Yet, it seems that the more countries advance economically, the more they trade meaningful connections for material prosperity. It has led to increasing rates of loneliness in highly-developed nations, which affects 1 in 6 people worldwide [4]. Being lonely is linked with depression and anxiety, poorer quality of life, and disruptions to sleep and cognition [5]. Such are the negative effects of loneliness that former surgeon general of the United States Vivek Murthy called loneliness a public health crisis. He’s not exaggerating this claim. The WHO reports that loneliness is associated with an estimated 100 deaths every hour – more than 871,000 deaths annually [6]. There is more to flourishing than finances. True wealth and prosperity also come from the riches of one’s relationships.

Belonging and Mattering

Fortunately, these studies and reports also offer suggestions for interventions to counteract the effects of loneliness. Community-based group activities are remarkably effective in reducing loneliness [7]. Participation in the arts, gardening, and engaging in group physical activity all work well alongside social skills training and therapy in alleviating loneliness. The author Johann Hari writes in Lost Connections that depression and anxiety are largely caused by a sense of disconnection – from meaningful work, values, and, of course, people. Mental health disorders are not simply due to chemical imbalances, but rather, the disconnection felt from other people, the loss of status and disrespect, and the fracturing of social ties [8]. Our social connections fulfil a fundamental need – the need to belong. This is the need for “frequent, nonaversive interactions within an ongoing relational bond” [9]. A sense of belongingness lowers loneliness. The opposite was again true. Not feeling that one belongs increases feelings of loneliness [10]. Improving one’s social skills, enhancing social support, and increasing opportunities for social interaction are all effective in reducing loneliness [11].

We also need to feel a sense that we matter to others. Mattering is the feeling that we are both valued and that we are able to add value to others [12]. We need to feel that we are contributing to those around us – we are doing something that benefits our teams, families, and community. Mattering provides a sense of personal worth and purpose in one’s life [13]. It is perhaps little surprise that people find a sense of meaningfulness in living for their children and caring for family members. The opposite is again true. When one feels marginalized, insignificant, or invisible to the respect of others, feelings of what researchers call “anti-mattering,” people report higher levels of depressive symptoms [14].

Contributing To, and Celebrating With Your Community

Where do you feel you most belong, and where do you most matter? Where do you feel you are most needed and called to? How closely connected are you to your community? You may have, like me, several communities that you value. It may be your family, with whom you feel conditionally accepted and where you feel the greatest sense of belongingness. It may be your religious community – I know of a friend who serves as a valued member of her church community, teaching Sunday School to children. It may be your work – a place where your skills, abilities, and experience are valued by your teams and colleagues. I certainly do feel a sense of mattering from the work that I do alongside my faculty team. Shout out to my team members at the Department of Psychology at HELP University. If you are reading this, know that you matter to me.

Perhaps the most important question to ask is if you are doing anything to nurture these connections. Beyond one-on-one interactions with others, the strength of a collective group of individuals means that we experience, support, and celebrate one another as part of a greater, more meaningful whole. Belongingness and mattering are amplified in communities. Mattering activities – even if it is a simple get-together over cards or board games – can pay dividends to our sense of connection and well-being. Go to where you are accepted, wanted, and celebrated. Give yourself to the shared needs of the collective. It is there you will find your home.

Who are the people who are home to you?

This article is dedicated to the memory of Drs Issac and Ora Prilleltensky, for telling us How People Matter. Thank you for being part of my journey through the science of positive psychology and flourishing. You matter and always will.

Community is much more than belonging to something; it’s about doing something together that makes belonging matter

- Brian Solis

References

[1] VanderWeele, T. J., Johnson, B. R., Bialowolski, P. T., Bonhag, R., Bradshaw, M., Breedlove, T., ... & Yancey, G. (2025). The Global Flourishing Study: Study profile and initial results on flourishing. Nature Mental Health, 3(6), 636-653. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44220-025-00423-5

[2] IMF (2026). GDP per capita (2026) – IMF. Available at: https://www.worldometers.info/gdp/gdp-per-capita/

[3] OECD (2025). Social connections and loneliness in OECD countries. https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/social-connections-and-loneliness-in-oecd-countries_6df2d6a0-en/full-report/inequalities-in-social-connections-who-is-least-connected_46895541.html

[4] World Health Organization (WHO) (2025a). Social isolation and loneliness. Available at: https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/demographic-change-and-healthy-ageing/social-isolation-and-loneliness

[5] Park, C., Majeed, A., Gill, H., Tamura, J., Ho, R. C., Mansur, R. B., ... & McIntyre, R. S. (2020). The effect of loneliness on distinct health outcomes: a comprehensive review and meta-analysis. Psychiatry research, 294, 113514. https://www.doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2020.113514

[6] World Health Organization (WHO) (2025b). Social connection linked to improved health and reduce risk of early death. Available at: https://www.who.int/news/item/30-06-2025-social-connection-linked-to-improved-heath-and-reduced-risk-of-early-death

[7] World Health Organization (WHO) (n.d.). In-person interventions for reducing social isolation and loneliness. Available at: https://www.who.int/initiatives/decade-of-healthy-ageing/evidence-gap-map/sil-inperson

[8] Hari, J., & Hari, J. (2018). Lost connections: Uncovering the real causes of depression-and the unexpected solutions. London: Bloomsbury Circus.

[9] Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (1995). The need to belong. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780367198459-REPRW57-1

[10] Dost, G. (2026). Belongingness and loneliness in higher education: a meta-analysis of pre-and post-pandemic trends. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1625957. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1625957

[11] Masi, C. M., Chen, H. Y., Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2011). A meta-analysis of interventions to reduce loneliness. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 15(3), 219-266. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868310377394

[12] Prilleltensky, I., & Prilleltensky, O. (2021). How people matter: Why it affects health, happiness, love, work, and society. Cambridge University Press.

[13] Paradisi, M., Matera, C., & Nerini, A. (2024). Feeling important, feeling well. The association between mattering and well-being: A meta-analysis study. Journal of Happiness Studies, 25(1), 4. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-024-00720-3

[14] Tonini, B., Benucci, S. B., Flett, G., Fioravanti, G., & Casale, S. (2025). General mattering, anti-mattering, and depressive symptoms: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 102626. https://www.doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2025.102626

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